In Episode 6 of "10 Questions To Ask About Your Marriage Health" we ask: How often are you sexually active?
Just as the answer to this question might have important implications to your physical health, it also can indicate things about the health of your marriage. Listen here: How Often Are You Sexually Active.
There are many common obstacles the prevent couples from frequent or regular sexual connection. Here are a few tips about how to overcome them (adapted from Love After Marriage Workshop: Common Obstacles to Fulfilling Sex):
- Learn to be okay with enjoying each other sexually
- Don't worry about whether or not you come to climax (orgasm) every time.
- Think about giving more than receiving. Talk to each other about what feels good so you will know how to give to each other.
-Prepare for sex by keeping anger, bitterness, offense, etc., out of your life and marriage.
- Remember that often even under "normal" circumstances the man will be done before the woman really get's going. Take the time needed to prepare your wife's body to become excited and ready for sex.
- Use the start/stop method or the squeeze technique when things are moving too fast.
- Keep your eyes closed at first so that you are not as visually stimulated
- Consider positions and motions that are less stimulating to you
Erectile dysfunction or difficulty coming to orgasm
- Don't get discouraged if your penis does not get as hard or become erect as easily due to getting older
- You do not have to be completely erect to come to orgasm.
- Don't rush. Take the time to help each other's bodies become excited and ready for sex
- Experiment to find the maximum way to move and position yourself to increase feeling
- Keep your eyes open to increase visual stimulation
- Stay healthy and active. Get a physical exam if needed. There are many health conditions and medications that can contribute to erectile dysfunction
- Focus on enjoying your wife more than worrying about your performance.
- Prepare your mind and body for sex by thinking about it throughout the day and making sure you arrange the day for the best outcome.
- Don't rush. It will often take your body longer to be ready for sex so lead up to it with touching and kissing
- Only 70% can not reach orgasm just by intercourse alone so be okay with letting your husband touch and explore your body.
- Communicate about what feels good and what doesn't and guide your husband in how to touch you.
- Tightening and releasing your kegel muscles during sex and tilting your pelvis helps stimulate circulation and will help with achieving orgasm.
For more in depth teaching about God's plan for sexual intimacy, sexual healing and freedom, and dealing with obstacles to fulfilling sex, attend our next Love After Marriage Workshop where you will get the healing and tools to go deeper in spiritual, emotional, and sexually intimacy.